Trust God

As I'm being comforted by people now the most common thing I'm being told is to trust God. But I'm starting to wonder if we know what trust is, more specifically do we as Christians know the difference between trust and faith...

A good friend of mine has children with food allergies, this is very serious because if they're given something they're allergic too they can possibly die. She has to be very careful all the time and most important she has to trust God with her children. She ministered to me today telling me how she learned she doesn't have control, God does and how she had to come to that time in her life.

I met another beautiful mom last week who's child also have Rhabdomyosarcoma. She's been dealing with it longer than me, but she said several times our children are borrowed from God and she too told me about trust...

Then I was reading "When God Doesn't Make Sense" by James Dobson and he gave a wonderful illustration in his book that I'm going to paraphrase;

"There once was a tight rope walker who was the best in the world. His reputation was without blemish. This tightrope walker decided to walk across a deep cliff pushing a wheel barrow. He asked an onlooker "Do you have faith I can do this?" the onlooker said "of course I have faith you can do this!!! Your reputation precedes you!" The tightrope walker then said "Since you have faith, hop in the wheelbarrow as I push it across."

You see that's the difference, and going through this today, I told my friend I wonder if I've ever trusted God for anything before now and I don't think I have. Before this I don't think I knew the difference I may have thought I knew but truthfully I really didn't.

I'm still learning. I truly am learning. Learning not to say I trust Him but to mean it in my heart which is what God looks at. God may heal Nathan which is my only prayer, but then again He may not. So do I trust Him no matter what He decides?

That's where I am right now. It's the position given to Sam and me. Nathan has been doing well lately, he's playing and sleeping back in his bed though right now he's next to me :-)

I look at the road ahead and we're weary. I told Sam it's hard to think about the upcoming treatments and radiation. I don't want him poked and prodded anymore and put under everyday. I want it to stop. I have to send Peyton off with my parents who drive a Lexus (more trust - those darn toyota people). But I have no choice. God can remove it now if He wanted. He spoke and Lazarus came forth. He can do it but right now He's choosing not to. And lately I keep feeling something nagging me. I know God is at work. He's in this situation I've already seen evidence. He knows I have faith in Him and He knows I've said I trust Him but the nagging still remains. LaToya do you trust Me? He is God and Nathan is His first. I'm going to trust Him on this one. Not saying it's going to be easy but I have the most comfort in His plan no matter what that is.

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