Saturday, October 31, 2009
Just stress
What do you do when life stresses you and you pray and pray but God seems silent? And you really want to tell someone what you're stressed about but you really have no one to tell? And it's sad to feel you have no one to tell especially since you have a ton of friends. I know what the scriptures say and I've literally been telling God everything lately. Just talking to him more and more (along with my hubby of course:-)
What happens when you need a getaway, yet there's no one around to help? What happens when you remain silent and your frustrations continue to mount one after another almost to the point that you're ready to snap at anyone outside of your immediate family. What happens when you don't have a support system? What happens when you know full well you're not supposed to harbor things and let your heart grow bitter, yet you feel yourself going in that direction anyhow? What happens when you want to start voicing what's truly on your mind even at the expense of losing relationships or hurting people, because you just can't be silent anymore? What happens when some well meaning people try to offer encouragement but all you want to do is tell them to get lost? What happens when your best isn't better? Just writing because I have a lot on my mind. I truly want no comments or emails on this post. It just felt good to write since I wasn't sleep anyhow.
-- Post From My iPhone
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Nannies
I was at my son's gymboree class last week and had an interesting conversation with a Nanny. Now being a stay at home mom, I meet a ton of different people as I'm out with my children. I have Nathan and Peyton involved in several things and coming across a child and his/her nanny isn't uncommon though to me it still strikes me as weird.
A nanny is a lot more than a baby sitter and when I'm out I do run into children and their babysitters as well, they're pretty easy to spot. A child and a nanny isn't (unless of course the nationalities are different). But they're very hard to spot because most times you'd just assume the child was with their mommy.
And I must admit I'm extremely jealous of some of these Nannies. I had a long conversation with one named Lindsey last Thursday. Ironically she was from my husband's hometown and though she was 4 years younger than me and had no children of her own, she had a ton of experience and gave me the best advice on potty training I'd ever gotten. Seriously no mother has ever given me methods such as hers. She's potty trained three and she attended Alexandria School in Solon, OH. She's already been a nanny to twins in Canada, as well as the family she's currently with now. The perks of her job are phenomenal. Not only is her salary higher than I'd guess most people's are, but it also comes with room and board and a car. When she becomes a mother to her own children, I can just imagine the experience she's going to bring to the table.
But the thing that saddened me and I point blank asked her is "aren't you technically raising the children yourself?" The answer obviously is yes. Right now she's a nanny to a family of two attourney's. It's obvious the little girls parents are very successful, though I see they're missing so much they can't get back to chase something for a child who could care less... Am I saying one of the parents should stay home? Not necessarily, but I am saying they should have a little more time for their child. When it gets to the point that the nanny is attending classes, and baseball games, and spelling bees instead of of mommy or daddy, then I think some priorities need adjusting. I do remember when I used to work I met with one of the executives, named Tom and he gave my team the best bit of advice ever. You can get your job back but not time with your family. Tom had a strict rule, no anything after 4:00 - meetings, phone calls, etc. After 4 he went home and this particular day he had to be at a ball game for his niece so he wasn't about to let the meeting run over. And he reported directly to the CEO and had an office overlooking the browns stadium yet he always said it didn't compare to family.
You see some people have this concept down. Yet others and I'm sad to say, especially women struggle in this area horribly. If someone else is literally raising your child in this way, then I think maybe priorities should be question. Not all but some nannies are paid so well that it's obviously a very important job. Most nanny position require the nanny to enter into a 1 to 2 year contract so that the child has some normalcy. Nannies are required to work at least 16 to 18 hours a day and do some of the house hold cleaning. They're also responsible for teaching the child manners, and basic things about life etc.
I think women need to check themselves. Nannies no matter how fantastic can't replace the love of a mother and father. Quit letting someone else enjoy our children.
I read an interesting quote in a community on circle of moms:
"while I was in college I was a summer Nanny for families in Chicago and I saw how much my little charges missed they're Moms and Dads who sometimes only spent a few hours a week with them. Yes some of these kids got everything they wanted financially and they weren't starving for food but some were starving for Mommy and Daddy's attention and Love. because lets face it no matter how much I gave them I wasn't there Mom."
A nanny is a lot more than a baby sitter and when I'm out I do run into children and their babysitters as well, they're pretty easy to spot. A child and a nanny isn't (unless of course the nationalities are different). But they're very hard to spot because most times you'd just assume the child was with their mommy.
And I must admit I'm extremely jealous of some of these Nannies. I had a long conversation with one named Lindsey last Thursday. Ironically she was from my husband's hometown and though she was 4 years younger than me and had no children of her own, she had a ton of experience and gave me the best advice on potty training I'd ever gotten. Seriously no mother has ever given me methods such as hers. She's potty trained three and she attended Alexandria School in Solon, OH. She's already been a nanny to twins in Canada, as well as the family she's currently with now. The perks of her job are phenomenal. Not only is her salary higher than I'd guess most people's are, but it also comes with room and board and a car. When she becomes a mother to her own children, I can just imagine the experience she's going to bring to the table.
But the thing that saddened me and I point blank asked her is "aren't you technically raising the children yourself?" The answer obviously is yes. Right now she's a nanny to a family of two attourney's. It's obvious the little girls parents are very successful, though I see they're missing so much they can't get back to chase something for a child who could care less... Am I saying one of the parents should stay home? Not necessarily, but I am saying they should have a little more time for their child. When it gets to the point that the nanny is attending classes, and baseball games, and spelling bees instead of of mommy or daddy, then I think some priorities need adjusting. I do remember when I used to work I met with one of the executives, named Tom and he gave my team the best bit of advice ever. You can get your job back but not time with your family. Tom had a strict rule, no anything after 4:00 - meetings, phone calls, etc. After 4 he went home and this particular day he had to be at a ball game for his niece so he wasn't about to let the meeting run over. And he reported directly to the CEO and had an office overlooking the browns stadium yet he always said it didn't compare to family.
You see some people have this concept down. Yet others and I'm sad to say, especially women struggle in this area horribly. If someone else is literally raising your child in this way, then I think maybe priorities should be question. Not all but some nannies are paid so well that it's obviously a very important job. Most nanny position require the nanny to enter into a 1 to 2 year contract so that the child has some normalcy. Nannies are required to work at least 16 to 18 hours a day and do some of the house hold cleaning. They're also responsible for teaching the child manners, and basic things about life etc.
I think women need to check themselves. Nannies no matter how fantastic can't replace the love of a mother and father. Quit letting someone else enjoy our children.
I read an interesting quote in a community on circle of moms:
"while I was in college I was a summer Nanny for families in Chicago and I saw how much my little charges missed they're Moms and Dads who sometimes only spent a few hours a week with them. Yes some of these kids got everything they wanted financially and they weren't starving for food but some were starving for Mommy and Daddy's attention and Love. because lets face it no matter how much I gave them I wasn't there Mom."
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