Interesting Part 2

"In school and on TV, every message I get is what I am doing as a mother or wife is wrong," said Vilar. "I should be thinking about a profession and not mothering. Everyone is having babies, and yet they don't want to care for them." taken from Abortion Addict Confesses 15 in 16 Years


So I posted an article the last time titled "Abortion Addict Confesses 15 in 16 Years" and promised a commentary, well here it is.

First my heart really goes out to this woman and women like her. Hear me out. I'm against abortion. I hate it to my core. I've seen the affects abortions have had on people I love. Unless having the baby jeopordizes the health of the mother (for example a tubular pregnancy in which case neither mom or baby would survive) then I'm against it. I'm also outraged when I hear people speak on abortion topics like they have some sort of authority when they really haven't researched it. The title of the artcle may have shocked some people but sadly the fact is most abortions performed are repeats. And most women who have abortions are over 30 married and professional women who don't want a kid or at least another one. Most people like to argue rape and young teen mothers who aren't ready etc. However those scenarios aren't as common in the abortion world as we may think. It's mostly just a method used as a form of birth control.

Now it's sad that this woman has to go into hiding to tell her story which I'm interested to read. I'm not sure from the article if she regrets these abortions or not and would love to know that. Though I'm against abortion I feel we should be careful when dealing with women who've had them. Some may not feel regret but for those who do I'd imagine the pain would be great. And even though I hate their choice I do believe they should be told about restoration in Jesus.

Now some may or may not agree with this next statement but I mostly blame society for huge rise in abortions. It's not popular to be a mom nowadays. Sure it's ok to have them but it's not ok to stay home and raise them. We're teaching women to be afraid of losing everything except the precious time they have with their families. Now we have women who work 50 - 60 hour weeks, and don't have family or close enough friends around to help them out or most of their friends are in their same position and can't offer relief. So they're overworked at their jobs, tired when they get home but still have to find time to care for their families.

Our nation is in horrible debt and it's not just Bush's fault. We as a people have the responsibility to be better spenders. Goodness even Michael Jackson, as rich as he was, lived above his means. And we tell ourselves that now both spouses have to work like dogs to be able to afford to have nice things (which isn't always true). We believe that bigger houses are going to make our kids happier etc. When in all actuality that'll make us happier (myself included) but they could care less. We want moms to wear many hats and still have energy left over for mothering. So given all this, why wouldn't a person think about aborting? Who could possibly have the energy to do all of this and to be honest with you who would want to.

I remember vividly being pregnant, looking at a promotion at work, trying to figure out how me and Sam are going to juggle me working 50+ hours with a new baby coming. Women are told you can have it all. I think women need to be brought up learning there are seasons for everything and you know what, that's ok. It's ok to take time off to just focus on childbearing and raising. It's ok to do that and not feel like they're missing something or losing out or wasting something. It's a beautiful season that's going to come and go. Can women have it all? No. Something is going to lack.

It's a shame that our workforce has bought into this. There are places overseas that give women at least a year off after having a baby. Here the standard is 6 weeks, or three months if you take FMLA. The system sucks. Women do want to do both and in some cases HAVE to, but the American culture is so screwed up that employers, people in charge who probably have children themselves, offer very little support to families. You have your kid, you're expected back in 6-12 weeks the option to go part time isn't always available. For example:

I remember being in a meeting with fellow project managers and managers when I was working and the goal was how do we motivate our employees or people working for our projects to go above and beyond. One manager was complaining about a particular employee. Out of his own mouth, she was a nice woman and a great worker. The issue he had was that she leaves everyday at 4 which was her time to get off mind you. She never stays to put in extra time in the office. Like clockwork he said she'd leave. Well I didn't see nothing wrong with that! He said she left because her son was done with practice at 4:30. She never stayed late because she liked to meet her son at home. The manager never complained to her about this but on her performance review she was docked a few points for not making herself available after 4 because she had to get her child. Other people would stay late for a meeting or to get extra work done if need be so why shouldn't she? The manager point blank said she needs a better reason that going to meet her son, as to why she can never give more. He said everyone else in his department have families yet they still stay if need be. Seriously that was his ONLY complaint on her but for him it was big. Surprisingly several other manager's women included shared his view. All of these managers had families.

Employers need to cut our women some slack. It's hard to be a mom and I'd imagine it's hard to be a working mother. Provide benefits that help our families. For the women who have to work provide better maternity packages to allow more time with families.

And stay at home moms struggle with waiting until their children are of age to get in pre school so they can go back to work and just when that kid is old enough, surprise another baby is on the way, which means if they choose life this child would keep them at home another 3-4 years they hadn't planned on being there so now they're at a crossroads as well. The main comment people get anyway when you say you're home full time is "you can always go back when they're in school." That's the big goal people think and these mothers are reminded of that constantly. And the older your kids get the more the reminders come and the "are you done having kids"? Believe it or not I actually got called a "baby making machine" by someone when we found out about Peyton. So these mothers get no respect either. Some seriously want to work so they no longer have to hear snide remarks about their decision.

Let's not forget the woman who is in her 40s with pre teens and teenagers her then surprise! We as a society tend to rip these women apart and for them it's already hard having a baby they didn't plan on having this late, but are they offered support or encouragement? No.

So am I against abortion? Yes. Most are performed by married 'successful' women ( I do include myself in this succesful category by the way). Contraceptives aren't 100% and it'll be dumb to tell these women to practice abstenance in marriage. But with society as against families the way they are, why be surprised in such a rise in abortions.
-- Post From My iPhone