No Title

I couldn't figure out what to title this one. So it doesn't have one.

My ex sister in law made a point of letting me know what a horrible Aunt I am yesterday. She grew up in a household I guess where the aunts and uncles were really tight with the neices etc. Until I married my husband I never witnessed that kind of aunt and uncles relationship on that level.

Do I have a favorite aunt? Yes it's always been one of my Dad's sisters. I really have nothing bad to say about her. She's just great. We've never had a phone relationship I've just always gone over her house and she feeds us and we leave with Doggie bags and I love laughing with her etc. She's great what can I say.

I have a favorite Uncle too - my mom's oldest brother. I really love that man. He really reminds me of my Grandfather too. We talk maybe once a year.

Bare with me I may have a point. I was always close to my Grandparents and as a mom that's always been the main relationship that mattered with my children. I'm not undermining the others. It's just I never would've come to the conclusion that my children aren't important to their Aunts and Uncles. Whether they called them everyday or once every two years I wouldn't put much thought into it. Would it be nice if they chose to call everyday or once a week- I always felt it was up to them, not a requirement in my book and definitely not an indication of their love for them.

Did hearing the words hurt? They actually did. Especially since two years ago the same person point blank told me "if anything ever happens to us I want you and Sam to raise our son." And i've not acted any different auntwise as I did two years ago. The hardest part about relationships is that people often expect you to act as they would and if you don't then a conclusion can be reached in our minds that may be far from the truth. I'm guilty of this too. I've never had a close phone relationship with any adult ouside my grandparents. No Godparents I know about, I never asked at least. Would it have been nice if my aunts and uncles called more? I guess so but it's not something I think much about. Honestly in this new world of technology I'd prefer a quick email or something anyway.

Can I make excuses for myself being a 'bad' aunt? No, but honestly in this situation it's difficult divorces are ugly and I don't think anything would satisfy her no matter what I do and I prefer to deal with my brother so she'd never know any efforts I have or have not made.

What should I do in the future to be a better Aunt? Honestly not sure but won't deny there's always room for improvement and don't mind suggestions. People show and receive love in different ways I honestly thought I was by making sure my nephew had a good time when around but maybe that's not enough. So I'll take suggestions. I know a lot of you who email me directly will say the obvious "treat them how you'd want to be treated". LOL that advice won't work in this situation as I described above growing up was all about the grandparents and I already have treated all of my neices and nephews how I was treated. So I need something better.
-- Post From My iPhone