Submit

Another question to open for discussion.

Is submission to our husbands a bad thing?

I put Titus 2:4-5 on my blog and it's getting some response from my readers. (LOL that tickles me too, I have "readers" now.) Anyway not too long ago I was trying to jazz up my blog a little bit. I look at other people's blogs and notice there's stuff all on the sides of them and was just trying to figure out one day how to do that to mine. When I get time to blog I do just that blog, I usually don't spend time trying do much else cause I really don't have much time to blog in the first place and I'm typing quick while I'm doing it. But this particular day I had time and found where I could add a picture or something to that side and I tried adding a pic and didn't like it so I decided to add a verse. I actually really like that verse and study it often and so when I was trying to think of a verse that one came to mind.

Honestly I never expected anyone to even notice it and I forgot about it until I started getting emails and actually a lot of you were insulted by it. Another thing that was odd to me. I know the Bible is the living word and it speaks directly to us but I was shocked so many Christian women actually finds that verse offensive. It's literally not liked.

That verse speaks to me and the main part I like is: "These older women must train the younger women." In a few of my past blogs you may have noticed that when I said I seek counsel from someone they're usually older then me either in age or in experience and even just today Sam and I went to a couple's home to have brunch after church and I got to spend time with a woman that I really love and highly respect. She's like a surrogate Grandmother to our children and I seek relationships with women like her and that's the main part about the verse that I like.

But I started getting emails that threw me. A lot of you were telling me you noticed the verse I had on the site and out of the blue without my asking you started explaining why you had to work outside of the home....That verse wasn't put there as a way to inadvertently tell women something. If I wanted or felt that all women should stay home then I'd blog about it I wouldn't stick a verse on the side of my page to try to insinuate something.

But that wasn't the big part about it though. A lot of women were heated that I put it on because the last part said that we women should be submissive to their husbands. And you were shocked that I added the verse because it looks like I agree with this statement. Well I do.

Wow that just opened up a huge can of worms I bet.

But what's wrong with that statement? If we read Biblically what does submission mean?

I know that in the Bible people like Abraham, Jacob, Solomon to name a few had several wives and concubines. But did that have anything to with what God wanted? I'm told that submit only refers to the culture of that day and doesn't apply today. Say's who? God or us.

God never told anyone to have more than one wife. It was never stated in the Bible to take two wives from God. If I'm wrong please send me the verse and I'll retract what I'm saying. God never once approved of other wives. I know he opened wombs but he never said Abraham sleep what Hagar. Sarah didn't trust God or possibly didn't believe that she would have a child and gave Hagar to Abraham (he didn't object either I noticed)

And let's look at what husband's were called to do:

Ephesians - Chapter 5:25-33
25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26. to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,27. and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.28. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-30. for we are members of his body.31. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”32. This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church.33. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself...

Colossians - Chapter 3:19
19. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Those verses are very deep.

And what were wives supposed to do:

Ephesians 5:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.

Too often we find that men and women sin (we're sinful creatures right) and we see men mistreating women (beating them, being harsh etc.) and because we witness this we say that it's because of the word submit. While that's true some men take the term submit to mean those things, that's never what God intended it to mean. So why blame the Bible for a man's ignorance to what the Bible says or say the Bible didn't mean that.

Who's the head of your household? If you don't know then ask your children living there they know.

I knew my father was the head of our home. Yes my parents were equal, but my father's word was law. I knew that if I wanted an extra piece of candy then I was more likely to get it from mom. This said my mother wasn't and still isn't a weak woman, honestly she's always been the strongest woman I know. She's the only person on this earth who can get my father to ever change his mind on anything. So much so that when were growing up as children we knew if we really wanted to persuade my father on something then to go to her because she's the only one who could do it.

Sometimes in homes the roles are reversed, either because the man isn't in the home or because he's in the home but not stepping up as the head of it.

But did God ever call women to be the head of the household? Adam described Eve saying: "This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh!"

They were equal but heir roles were different. Did you ever notice that when Eve ate the fruit nothing happened. Their eyes didn't actually open until Adam ate it, let's look at Genesis 3;6-7"

6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

I always wonder what would have happened if Eve wouldn't have taken the fruit to Adam. Would the fall have happened still. I don't know. If you read further God addressed the man first. God knows and sees all. He knows full well Eve ate the fruit first and he knows full well that she took it to Adam but he still directs his questions at Adam first. Then he said something prophetic that still applies today. Genesis 3:16 says:

16 Then he said to the woman,"I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth.And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.*"

The first part of that verse still applies right? If you think it doesn't then you haven't had children. Why then are we as women throwing out the second as that part being old and doesn't apply anymore.

I'm saying in a Godly Christian marriage it was designed that the man be the head of the household and love his wife and that the woman be his helper, submit to his authority and respect him. Nowadays that sound archaic and it insults many. The weird part is that we as women want men to keep up their end of the bargain. I can't think of a woman out there who doesn't want a man to follow what was written in Ephesians about how he's supposed to love us as women. But then we get angry that we're supposed to follow anything that has to do with submission. Actually what we don't realize in fighting against it is that we're fulfilling that prophecy in Genesis 3:16 - "And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you"

God created something beautiful in the Christian marriage. So beautiful in fact that He references the Christian church as his Bride and he's the Bridegroom.

Would I want my daughter to submit to her husband's authority. My desire is for my daughter to marry a Christian man who loves the Lord over everything else a man who lives out what God called him to do as the head of his household.

Biblically the man my daughter marries should be able to care for her as good as or better than her father did. What else does it mean when a father "gives his daughter away" I know we think that's just symbolic but why does the father do it and not the mother?

Now again I know that Titus 2 says for women to be workers in their homes and this is another spot where women get up in arms. Does this mean that women should work in their homes. Yes it does. You're your husbands helpmate. You're not the provider of the family (not supposed to be although there are circumstances where women have to be). If you're working outside the home there's nothing wrong with that. You're helping your husband provide for the family. Hence the term again "helping." You're helping your household. Even if you make more than your husband I still feel that your "helping" him provide.

The Christian marriage is a beautiful thing and I don't want us as women to try to change what God meant to fit into today's culture. That's like saying God didn't mean for Homosexuals not to marry. You know people actually believe that. It's a whole other topic for a whole other day but it seems that when something ruffles our feathers about God's word and we don't agree we start trying to say what God actually meant.

Some things are cultural yes. But God doesn't always agree with the culture.

I believe that we should teach our sons and daughters what the verses mean and encourage them to marry within their faith. Pray for our children and their future spouses. We all want our children to be loved and respected in their marriages and to have God as the head of their marriage.