When Parents are Silent

Lately I've been struggling with a few issues. My issues aren't with children but with parents of children. I expect a toddler/baby to act like one but when the parent fails to help the situation then I have a problem. What am I talking about you ask? Read below. I honestly haven't run into this with anyone who reads my blog which is probably why I'm so free about expressing this. The people I've run into this with I don't really associate with anymore because I couldn't figure out if it's best to confront the person on the issues or let the issues go. Some of you who read this have been parents longer than me. I'd greatly appreciate your comments on if you've dealt with any of the below issues and if so what was/is your response.

CHILDREN WHO ARE DISRESPECTFUL
I can't tell you enough how much this one bothers me. Whether it be a toddler or a young child or preteen. I can't stand a disrespectful child. I truly believe that a child should use titles when talking to an adult, unless that adult says otherwise. I also believe a child should say, "Yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir." And if you don't agree with that then can they at least say "yes" and "no" instead of "yeah," "naw", "huh," "yep."
And what's with the interrupting while adults are talking? Shouldn't they be taught to say "Excuse me?"

CHILDREN WHO HIT AND SNATCH
This is a HUGE deal to me. Hitting or snatching is disrespect and should not be tolerated at all. This one pisses me off in parents. You know why? If you do not teach your child to quit hitting or snatching then guess what - when you bring them over for a play date, they're going to hit and snatch from their peers. I don't know any mother who doesn't get pissed when they see something snatched from their child or their child hit and the other parent just sits and watches or just says "Billy that's not nice." DO SOMETHING! Take the toy from them or make them stop. Or better yet whoop them.

EVERY TIME your child hits or snatches you should discipline. I don't believe there are any exceptions to this rule (except maybe in the case of self defense among that child's peers). If I'm wrong on this then feel free to leave me comments. I'm sick of going places and seeing children getting away with this. If you decide that it's ok for your child to do this then don't get mad if another parent speaks up and reprimands your child because you fail to do so. And that leads me to my next point.

STOP BEING SO SENSITIVE
Don't get so mad if someone else corrects your child. Maybe you didn't see what they were doing. Would you rather they allow your child to stick their hand under that hot water or run into the street? Hopefully the people you choose to hang around have your child's best interest at heart so if they tell your child to get down from something don't be so quick to get mad about it.

RESPECT OTHER PEOPLES HOME
So you think it's ok for Sarah to climb up on your kitchen cabinets. That's your business but please realize that everyone you visit may not feel the same way. So when you take your child to that persons house -DON'T LET THEM CLIMB. You put your host in a very awkward situation here if you do. Especially if you're a sensitive person. If you're not that sensitive and don't mind your host telling your children to get down (and if you teach your children to respect others authority) then it may not be that big of a deal. After all to give people the benefit of the doubt every one's rules are different and you can't be expected to know them right off, but it doesn't hurt to ask if the person minds what their kids are doing. Sometimes the host will say he/she is fine. If you hear the host tell your child to quit doing something at their house could you please back the host up and make your child stop?

I've finally learned to move valuable things out of the way of my toddler but some things like my couch and arm chair and dinner table can't/won't be moved. Nathan has been taught not to climb them and we had to be diligent about it but we won that fight and he doesn't climb them. We'll also do the same thing with Peyton but what gets hard is when people come over and let their children loose. I have to discipline them because you know what? It's not fair to Nathan to allow other children to come in and do what he's not allowed to do. So if you can - look at it from that hosts point of view. Don't expect them to compromise their rules because you don't want to tell your children no.

HE/SHE IS JUST ACTING 1,2, OR 3 YEARS OLD
You know sometimes I can actually agree with this statement. But not when it comes to disrespect. I know 2 year olds hit. Mine tries to do it here and you know what he gets disciplined when he does it, no questions asked. Don't explain away such behavior with age. I'm not going to say Nathan hit me because he's 2. No, he hit me because he's cutting up.
Even if they do something that they don't know better, like run into the street for the first time. They did it because they didn't know better, if you don't teach them otherwise they're going to do again and possibly get hurt.

METHODS OF DISCIPLINE

The counting method
We all know this one, where parents count to three to get the kid to listen. I don't actually have a problem with this method just the way it's used. I hear it all the time when I'm out with Nathan, but I never hear it used to correctly. I honestly believe that if you're going to use this method then the whole purpose should be to discipline the child if they haven't done what you've asked by the time you reach 3. DON'T START COUNTING OVER!!!!!!!!!!

If you're going to keep counting over or if you have to repeat your command after 3 then tell me please, what was your point?

Time out
I'm not against this method at all either. What I'm against is the parent constantly asking the child "Do you want to go to time out?" Asking once maybe, but asking the kid over and over? PUT THEM THERE ALREADY!

Whoopins
I pretty much have the same problem with this as with above. If you're going to do it then do it. If you tell them you're going to whoop them if they touch the hot stove again, then actually do what you said. Whoop them for touching the stove (not beat, whoop - there is a difference).

Reasoning
This method down right angers me. You're the parent. You're the protector. It's not up to you to reason with a 2 year old.

People may argue with me on this one because Nathan and Peyton are still so young. I believe in picking and choosing my battles but I'm not going to "reason" with Nathan. Once I make a stand on something I work with him to follow through on what I said. If I tell him to pick something up and he doesn't do it, then I take his hand and walk him over to get what I said to get. If I tell him to give me something and he doesn't then I take it from him end of discussion.

DON'T CHANGE DIAPERS IN PEOPLE'S KITCHENS

It's unfortunate that I have to write this but I do. I know as mothers we've all probably changed our children in all parts of our homes. But that's OUR homes. When you go to visit, even if that person has children of their own, don't expect them to be understanding of you changing your child anywhere. Do not assume it's ok to just change children on people's couches or living room floors. Ask the host where you can go to change your child and they'll tell you.

Also don't just throw a poopy diaper anywhere. Again ask your host where you can throw it.

Anyway these are a few things that frustrate me. I'm definitely not where I want to be with discipline. I've recently been seeking the counsel of older women (our parents age) because our generation seemed to act so much better than our children's generation. My mother-in-law is actually my favorite one to talk to along the lines of this because I love the way her kids came out (Hey I even married one:-) I also love to talk to my father on this topic. I'm still striving to incorporate rules and relationship. And remember what I said in the beginning - I have no issues with children acting childish I have a problem when parents are silent.