Make me proud

I noticed when people talk to my children, they usually spend time trying to figure out what they should be when they grow up. I hear things like, "I hope Nathan becomes a doctor" or "Maybe she'll be a lawyer." It's actually fascinating because both of my children are under the age of two and even I, their mom, haven't taken much time to speculate on what I want them to be when they grow up. That may sound bad but really I haven't. I know what I don't want them to be, you know a drug dealer, prostitute, stripper to name a few but I haven't put much thought into what I want them to be yet. Maybe because they're still so little and I'm still caught up in diaper changes and late night feedings. Any other parent knows that when you're going through this stage it's kind of hard to see that far in the future. I have so many milestones that I haven't reached yet that it's just hard for me to look into their adult life. But I do pray for them often and I take it seriously when people tell me that it'll go by fast. I don't want it to - I'm actually in love with these baby and toddler years but the fact of the matter is they're going to grow up.

I mentioned that in an earlier post that the world relies and lifts up titles a lot and in a way that's not really a bad thing. I talk to many parents who'll tell me the dreams they have for their children and that's not a bad thing either I don't think. I remember as a young girl I wanted to be a brain surgeon, and an actress, and singer among many things. It changed all the time but the point was I wanted to be something.

Now I look at my children and I don't quite know what the future holds for them. I know Sam and I want to provide for them and guide them in every way we can and be there for them. I want them to make it in this world. And you know what's the heaviest burden I feel of all. How do I teach them to love Christ?

In reading and studying the Word of God I came across Mark 12:28:30

"28One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"
29"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'"

I know that there's often arguments over the interpretations of Bible verses but to me these are extremely clear. And when we think about the term "Love." How do we show our love for someone?

I know on this earth, there is no one I love more than my husband. I love my children to death too don't get it twisted but I'm a wife first, mother second. Anyway in saying that, I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for my husband. I really appreciate him and try to go out of my way to show him. I try to arrange our day so we'll get a little bit of time to ourselves (with two babies that's really hard, hence the word "try"). I'm here for him emotionally. I'll drop whatever I'm doing if he has an issue or really need to talk and if need be I'd give my life for him. That's true love in my opinion.

Now back to this Love that God commanded us to have for Him. I must admit, that I'm guilty of not loving Him as much as I'm supposed to. I sometimes go throughout my entire day without praying except at night. Sometimes the Bible doesn't get cracked for a week and unfortunately unless my life is in a crisis I forget to praise Him everyday for the wonderful things He's already done. What I'm trying to say is, I fall short on this command daily and I know that my words aren't going to be enough for my children. Who cares if I tell them everyday that they should love the Lord if they don't see Mama putting this love in action?

So it's something that's on my mind as I raise my children because I know that God entrusted them both to our care and it's not a responsibility that we take lightly. Maybe that's why I haven't put too much effort on what I want them to be. They can become that Doctor or Lawyer and yes I'd be proud. But if they become that and not accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, then what did they really accomplish? How will I feel one day bragging about my child's career knowing they haven't accepted Jesus Christ into their life?

I love John 14:6 that says: "6Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." I love it because I've accepted it, and I believe it. But that's me, it's a personal thing and I know that my children are going to be faced with the same choice one day.

So I'm trying not to worry about it because actually Jesus Christ was also clear about worrying. Matthew 6:23-32 told me:

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

And again I know people tend to question interpretations, but to me that's literal. He didn't give me an option when it comes to worry. He said don't do it. And God knew it'd be hard for us as humans not to do. How can you tell us not to worry when there's so much we can worry about? The economy is horrible, my children will have to go to school at some point, who knows what sicknesses may fall upon our family etc. How in the world can God give such a command? To be honest with you I know very few worry free people. My husband is one of them.

I'm telling you this man is the pillar of strength to me. I've never met anyone like him. I really can't think of any time I've ever seen him worried, even when I thought he should have been. That's why I'm so glad God chose him to be my husband and father of my children. He's not perfect but he does practice one thing and I'm learning it as well. To seek God in everything. Matthew 6:33-34 says: "33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

So I've decided to do just that. Seek God's will for Nathan and Peyton's lives. I'm sure God has a purpose for them and as a mom I want to seek God's purpose for them. Who knows, he may want them to become that Doctor or Lawyer and if He does then who knows how He'll use them in that position. But for now I am seeking God for them and for Sam and myself.

I need God's guidance on how to model this Christian walk in front of them. Children know if we're for real or not and they're watching or imitating. Just yesterday I watched Nathan try to put a garbage bag in the garbage can cause he sees Sam do it all the time. I always kiss Peyton and now she grabs my faces for kisses at just 6 months. So I know they're watching us, so what example am I giving them?

I often hear people say "She's just like her mother" or "He's just like his father" when referring to someone. It's funny cause they either say this about the most negative traits or the most positive ones. Or sometimes if it's a negative trait they'll say "I have no clue where he learned that." So one day Nathan and Peyton are going to be grown and no doubt they're going to take into adulthood our negative and positive traits, in other words they may begin look or sound like us. This concept is funny because I even see my husband doing some of the things his father does. He can't help it, he's just imitating things he saw (thankfully he had a wonderful example and I welcome these traits).

As a Christian I should be looking more and more like my Heavenly Father. Jesus provided lifesaving examples in the gospels. After I professed my love for Christ it doesn't stop there, now I'm going through the transformation of trying to look more and more like Him every single day. And I have to because my children are watching me. It's funny because I just heard on the radio recently that in many Christian homes children are leaving the faith. When polled it goes back to the examples they were taught in the home. Even children who went to church all the time are leaving because it wasn't for real when they got home. They see their parents gossip, holding grudges, cursing etc. Peyton and Nathan are watching me and God gave me a responsibility to be an example for them because in the end what I say isn't going to matter as much as what I do...that concept can be overwhelming and downright scary at times.

So I just pray that I take on these Christian traits because my children's most import decision has nothing to do with what grades they get in high school or college, or what career they choose. The most important decision they'll ever make is whether or not they open the door when Jesus knocks and nothing will make me prouder than that.