I still love him

You know I've been checking out my husband a lot lately and he's still as sexy as ever and I'm thankful I still have these feelings.


I keep wondering why we have such a rise in divorce and the lines aren't blurred across the church and I'm finding that women are equally promiscuous now a days and it all saddens me. I have many friends and family members who I think would make someone a great husband or wife, yet they haven't found that special someone yet.

I realize that marriage now a days isn't popular. I got married when I was 23 and my husband was 22 (yes I'm older :-) and I always get told that I married young. My mother married when she was 18 (I know I keep hearing the times were different speeches) so I actually considered myself older when I got married.

I've got some friends and family members who chose to shack up first saying they want to get their lives and careers in order first before they get married...fine but why are you living together? Somehow that doesn't make sense to me either.

And I don't mean to sound so harsh because I realize with the rise of divorce a lot of my friends came from single parent homes or homes where the marriages were not quite "together". I on the other hand had a wonderful example of marriage so I can't always relate. My Dad really digs my mother and she really loves my Dad. Their love for each other is something that I never doubted. He thinks she's beautiful and they're the best of friends even to this day. The same was true for both sets of my grandparents and they were all inseparable. Where you see my mom, you see my dad. They really enjoy each others company.

I always wanted that in my relationship. I remember telling my husband when we were dating that I wanted a marriage like my parents. I wanted a man who loved me. Also it was extremely important to me that he enjoy my company because I truly believe in sticking together. A lot of people see this as clingy and call it a negative thing but I disagree.

Whenever I talk to a woman about to get married to a good man I really love to encourage her. Love your husband I tell her and enjoy being a wife. Let him be the head of your household and always give him the highest respect to his face and behind his back (when with girlfriends). And especially let your children see how much you love and respect that man.

I remember hearing a Christian program where a man said that your children should know these three facts about their father. He:

1. Loves the Lord


2. Loves their mother


3. Loves his children

And I also agree they should know them about their mother.

My parents were excellent in having a "united front" as I call it. They never disagreed on an issue involving us in front of us. I remember wanting a particular car when I was 16 and my father told me he wasn't getting it. I remember them talking quietly in their room that same day (our vents were attached but they were talking so quietly I couldn't hear even with my ear pressed up against it :-). When they came out they announced they were getting the car after all (I think my mom played a huge role in that). And I have many childhood examples of such scenarios, sometime it was my mom who's mind needed changing etc. But I do know in front of me they were united. I couldn't ask mom for candy and sneak off and ask my dad if she'd already said no. And it was a good thing.

I know my parents loved each other and took their "til death do us part" vows seriously. And I take them seriously as well and so does my husband.

And as beautiful as marriage is to me I'm still baffled at why so many are falling apart. Is it that spouses aren't taking time to spend quality time with each other? Is it that we're not taking an interest in each others hobbies? Although some hobbies are specific to one person some can be shared right? Are lifestyles too busy? Are we as married Christian couples failing to counsel and encourage other young Christian couples?

This divorcing for "irreconcilable differences" is really starting to piss me off. I would never encourage anyone to stay in an abusive relationship or where infidelity is involved. However if your divorcing just because he leaves the toilet seat up and you like it down then that's where I have issues. I've talked to people who tell me why they're leaving their spouse and maybe they're not always telling me the whole story because it baffles me. I have to wonder; is that all??? Sam and I would've left each other a long time ago for some of the dumb stuff I hear. Just because he puts the Tupperware in the pantry and you like it in the cabinet doesn't equal divorce. Or just because one of you spent the money foolishly on one item (or several) doesn't equal divorce.

I remember talking to a co worker about 4 years ago who was about to get married and I was so happy for her. I told her so and she was almost in tears with me. Mind you I barely knew her but we went to lunch for the first time together and she said that other than her parents who loved the guy her friends kept telling her how all men cheat and how she's too young to get married (she was 27 at the time). Mind you I do believe that sometime counsel is needed when a friend is going to marry someone wrong for them. IE the person isn't saved, or abusive, or lazy, or just wrong for them. Then by all means we should speak up and warn the person and that will stop an inevitable divorce. However, when we're telling people not to get married and have no good reason for it then I question people's motives. Anyway she was really happy that I was so encouraging of it and they're still happily married today.

I'll be honest with you too, I have issues with people writing their own vows instead of keeping the traditional ones. If you ever pay attention to the words in the wedding vows they're so deep:

"I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part"

That promise is so special and deep and it covers so much that I hate to see any of it omitted. And I wish people would really think about what those vows really mean.

Marriage is a wonderful thing when you marry the person God has for you. I married my absolute best friend. When were dating we'd sit on my parent's side porch and talk for hours. Literally. No tv, nothing. LOL and believe it or not there weren't a whole lot of make out sessions going on on that porch. So we really got to know each other very well. I remember being at a ministry meeting and someone made the comment "who really takes time to get to know who they're dating" and out of 4 couples in that room we were the only ones who could honestly say that we did.

I truly pray that our son grows up to mirror his father. I always write in his journal that if he becomes even half of what his father is then he's going to make someone a wonderful husband one day. And I pray that our daughter grows up to find someone who can make her as happy and content as I've been/am. If I were to die today I truly would die a very happy woman and that's because God blessed me with a very wonderful (sexy) man.